Catch up with these ones first:
Who are we without the fear there be?
Before I came to compose this piece, there was a “certain fear” in my mind. It wasn’t related to the scare that one gets when one anticipates something going terribly wrong or something that shooks away your senses. I tried to analyse that fear in my mind and it somehow led me to compose this piece. This is a subsequent write-up post the broader “walking and shapeshifting humans” and “Circumstances”, both of which I’m trying hard to attribute so much credit to what we are in our lives. In this series, “Fear” takes a centre spot due to certain kind of qualities it possesses. Reasons could be good or bad but fear always keeps us on our toes. It’s like a course correction for our deeds because I believe that we are more or less prone to do the worst/bad things most of the time. Good things come with aims, beliefs, plans and actions. Despite our best possible efforts, we “fear” we might fail. Most are destined to fail; it’s an undeniable truth. Most just won’t be able to reach the finish line with the best of credits at their disposal. Somehow, it’s not even about our good/bad deeds. Even if “achievement” is very subjective, we will always feel not contented with what we did in our lives. Add this feeling to the “fear” that everything you would do would not just not be enough.
At this point, I say STOP.
Nothing makes sense. It’s all flawed. All terribly miscalculated.
Of course, the feelings are true. The thought is engrossing.
Interestingly, the “fears” are true. Something really has happened and I just can’t get my head out of it. If I think a little bit more, I realize it’s already too much. The fear that I came with before composing this post was that something would just fall in line. If it won’t, then, I will make it fall in line. This means that I came to fix something that is broken.
It seemed to me that there’s a kind of fear that is preventing me to do the right thing. Determining the right fear between the good and bad is just not easy as it seems. A revelation shapes up across my mind that I’m so surrounded by my fears. Even I was a child, I feared that I might not get the toy if my mother is angry with me for some reason. That reason might feel petty to me right now but at that time, it was all that was going to shape the further course of my life. Today, my fears are evolved. Something like losing my job, not getting further business, not being able to make peace with my girlfriend, ending up alone, not earning enough, etc. are the kind of these fears. The other fears which prevent me from doing the right thing are more aligned towards – what if I do it, will it exactly help me become a better version of myself? What if it happens and I see no change in my life? Is this really the time that it is happening and will the good thing happen tomorrow as well? Both are the kind of fears and both are there to serve their intent.
Yes, it is troublesome to think about something so petty. It’s so obvious because change is inevitable. But I fear to change too. It’s all so set right here and out there is an unknown world. In all my imagination have I desired to never settle, will this be the point where I disrupt what I have built after working hard for it for so long? Am I thinking long enough to wonder about the exact intent of being here and composing this stuff as well? Isn’t it better to numb my mind with entertainment of sorts rather than work my mind off to get the wind of exactly what is going on inside it without me ever knowing about it? Incidentally, these things are shaping who I ever was, ever am and ever will be. Of course, I understand the subtle balance that fears help create in our lives. If I shred this fear, what will become of me? Will I be able to accept what will I be in the next time? Fears generate another fear for reasons unknown, isn’t it?
Who are we without the fears there be?
The question is right here in front of all of us. We subconsciously have chosen to be accepting it. They are good as well as bad fears. We have vetted the viability of each with the passage of time. We understand that there’s no point in wanting to make up with a terrible girlfriend. We are longer welcoming another stupid hurt in the absence of any feeling that can make us feel our hearts more closely. We realise time is of the essence and only a few deserve our attention. Out of all the career paths that would have been there, something desirable is the reality too. It’s kind of streamlined. With whatever it is that makes us wants more from it, that thing is actually built is yield more from it too. It’s something like you are revving the car to the max and in an alternative reality, the car is alive and likes to be revved too. You are happy and the one you are driving is happy too. You push the throttle to life and life rewards with its loyalty towards you too. Here, our fears make us wonder whether they will help us reach the pinnacles. Or it may turn us thinking towards whether things will sustain or this will also go just like other “good things” just vanished with you with the most of hurt? Here, these “fears” will help us work our asses off knowing that one single mistake will make us end up where we started. The other side of the same “fear” will try its best to pull you down. So, what exact “fear” do you choose to embrace?
Embrace? What did I just say? I came to understand what we are without our fears. Now, I’m saying to embrace them, maybe because they are inalienable. Are they? Can they be made so? Can they be made otherwise?
The answer is this: We are nothing without our fears. They can be alienable or not depending on how we embrace them. Choosing to accept them for the best reasons can help. Choosing to wander because of certain fears may not help you take the best course of your lives.
I’d say- Choose wisely!
That makes us The Walking and Shapeshifting Humans of our own kinds!